Wednesday, February 15, 2023

The Most Cathartic Action Scenes of 2022

        Some of you may recall that, all the way back in 2017, we ended up having a year so jam-packed with excellent, ground-breaking action scenes that I felt compelled to do an extra special Top Ten list just to honor them properly.

        There have, of course, been other great action movies to come around since then, but no year has ever been able to follow 2017 in terms of sheer quantity. That reminds a very special year as far as that is concerned.

        HOWEVER. Upon revisiting 2022 in preparation for my latest Best Film and Best Score lists (coming soon!), it occured to me that there was enough material on hand to offer a unique variation on this theme.

        You see, while the sheer volume of top-tier action may not have been as high as in 2017, a small sub-group of movies from the past year- cutting across genres, subject matter, and budget levels- served us some memorable sequences where some of the absolute worst examples humanity has to offer got their commupance in gloriously cathartic fashion. Since we remain stuck in the timeline where most of the worst people on Earth are still walking free and unencumbered with anything approaching shame or reproach, it was a relief to have the big screen give us at least a few moments of terrible assholes getting exactly what they deserve, right when they deserve it.

        And so, let's take a few minutes to reflect with gratitude on the Top 7 Most Cathartic Action Scenes of 2023. Because life is hard and we deserve it.


7. Pinocchio- Right In Il Duce's Face

        Okay okay, no, this is not an action scene, but stick with me. We're having fun here.

        Del Toro's astoundingly creative re-telling of the classic tale- and yes, it was the ONLY Pinocchio film to come out this year, now that you mention is- goes hard as mofo in so many ways it would take us a while post to unpack them all. But if I had to pick one personal favorite thing, it's when Il Duce himself pops into frame, only to get the Führer's Face treatment from a mutant tree-boy.

        All things considered, he takes it pretty well.


6. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever- Talokans wreck an entire CIA ops vessel

        We all see movies on this channel, so we all know the deal when a secretive vessel filled with Americans, mostly ex-military, suddenly turns up. Baaaad shit, that's the deal.

        But in a twist that cleverly establishes the threat that the Talokans present- not an easy feat in an extended cinematic universe that has already seen almost every bad guy power imaginable- before they can even START to think about all the sinful violations of nature their uncovered stash of vibranium would permit, strange voices come out of nowhere and just...ends them. No warning, no buildup, no sense that the primary POV characters here ever truly grasp what is going on. It's like an old-timey horror story about sea monsters sprung to life, and from that moment on, it is not possible to overestimate Namor.


5. The Batman- Batman goes apeshit on right-wing terrorists

        I, too, wish that before January 6 had gotten really bad, Catwoman and I had been able to jump in with a load of high-tech gear and spend an hour beating the living pulp out of a bunch of chickenshit, wannabe terrorists seeking to murder duly elected public officials. We all do!

        Sadly, I didn't get to do that. But at least Batman was able to get pretty close! There's a lot to love about the latest Pattinson romp, and I am very much going to return to this well multiple times before these lists are over. But for now, I pour one out to the thrill I fell seeing the glass dome over the tape-heads cave in and their body language revealing that they were just now realizing they'd hopped onto the wrong train.


4. Nope- Trespassing Motorist go WHEEEEE

        I have had Nope bouncing around my head for months now and I still don't feel any closer to having a full grasp of the film in my head. It's that deep and complex.

        There is, however, one moment during the absolute banger of a finale that requires no depth whatsoever to understand, because even a child could grasp how fucking funny it is; when the asshat TMZ-motorist, channeling his inner Jake Gyllenhaal, drives right smack into the invisible wall of the creature's anti....electrics....force-field....thing, and the result is just about what you's expect. I am slightly disappointed that Peele didn't punctuate the glorious shot that follows with the Goofy Yell. But only slightly, because I could at least let it play in my head.


3. The Woman King- Burn that Slave Compound to the Motherfucking Ground

        Is it historically accurate? No, sadly, it is not. But there were few moments in 2022 as deeply and profoundly satisfying as seeing a host of top-of-the-line female warriors go absolutely nuts burning an entire slave complex to the ground in revenge for them daring to cross them and take one of their own. This movie was a capital C, capital E, Cinematic Experience from start to finish, and this climax was the proverbial icing with chocolate sauce on top.


2. Prey- In Which the Predator offers a Considered Critique of Colonialism

        It is a must that any self-respecting Predator movie feature at least one group of non-main characters, in way over their heads and not truly knowing it, who exist merely to get their asses literally shaved off and handed to them by our favorite, insane-tech-wielding, alien seriel killers. And if you are going to set your movie in the Great Plains and feature Native American characters, who better to pick for this fine duty than a group of White trappers who see no difference between hunting bison and kidnapping/murdering other human beings. Wanna go one step beyond? Make 'em French.

        Seriously though, this is part and parcel of why this movie is one of the year's best. Prey is so good at establishing the dynamics between Naru and her tribe and making you very aware of the dangers she faces, that when the literally-scene-chewing lead trapper and his gang of bison-murderers appears you suddenly find yourself in a middle section of the film where you can't fucking wait for the Predator to appear and sharpen his blades on French cuisine before the final showdown happens. And when he does appear, it does not disappoint. Ever bit of gear, every gadget we've come to know and love, all make an appearance and each is used multiple ways for some of the most creative kills this side of the John Wick franchise.


1. Avatar: The Way of Water- Who Whales the Whalers?

        The crowning jewel of 2022. This was not just the year's most purely cathartic moment, this was, hands-down, the best action sequence of the year period. Masterfully crafted and paced, it includes every form of action imaginable- involving every creature, weapon, gadget, and body part available- and yet, it never loses sight of a single character or part of the battlefield for too long. THIS is Cameron at his absolute best, and the best showcase for why he is still one of the greatest filmmakers alive. I don't love everything he does or every decision he makes, but it's sequences like these that make the interminable waiting between his projects worth it, because when he finally deems something ready to be seen, it really is ready.

        Now, I don't want to get into a pissing contest over which group of real-world supervillians are ACTUALLY „the worst,“ but...yeah, poachers are The Worst. Plus, Cameron goes the full, painful distance in establishing precisely how much suffering and trauma is needed to kill just a single tulkun (and is based partially on actual whaling practices), so when our boy's new best friend lunges out of the water and arcs over the ship at just the right moment....yeah, I may have shouted in pure, exhilerated joy in the middle of a crowded theater. The many minutes that followed were an extended sequence me of whispering and/our shouting, „Yes....YES....nice...NICE! Daddy LIKE!!!“

        I doubted. I was convinced Avatar's time had come and gone and this film would flop, wouldn't be worth the wait, wouldn't be worth the hype or even good at all, wouldn't be able to top the genuinely revolutionary experience that watching the original was. And to be fair, the movie as a whole has its issues and is far from perfect. But this whole final climax? It's as perfect as it gets.


        And now that we are good and positively motivated, let's all go out and make a billionaire cry. Because when a rich person feels sad, an angels gets their wings.

        -Noah

Saturday, February 4, 2023

One Last Time

 


    The pages in this picture are the sort of scraps most people wouldn't think of as particularly valuable. At least, not valuable enough to go through the effort of having them laminated for preservation's sake. Then again, I've never really trucked with most people.

    These are, as you can see, three classic, scratched-on-with-pencil baseball scorecards. No, they are not from a particular World Series. They are not from any games that involved a record-breaking HR or K, a 300th win, a no-hitter, triple-play, walk-off grand slam, or anything of that sort. It's more personal than that. These are my scorecards from the very last three games played by the Braves in Turner Field, the original stadium I knew as a child and where my lifelong obsession/addiction/neurological deficiency concerning baseball was born.

    I hadn't been able to see a game there since 2000, the year my family swapped out a Georgian zip code for one in New Jersey, right smack dab in hostile Yankee territory. I'd always intended a return pilgrimage, but through high school, college, relocating to Germany, and getting settled into a new career, the right time had never really come around.

    As soon as the team announced the plans for a new stadium, however, I knew I couldn't wait around anymore. A hard deadline- the end of the 2016 season- had been set. I arranged with my parents that my combined Christmas and birthday gifts for that year would be a big Atlanta trip to see the very last baseball series before Turned Field would be converted to a football stadium and the team would relocate to SunTrust (now Truist) part in Cobb County (ironically, right near where I'd grown up).

    That last series took place over the final three days of September, the 28th to the 30th, closing out the 2016 season, Atlanta Braves versus the Detroit Tigers. It's quite a remarkable thing, looking back now at the strange pocket dimension that year now seems to exist in. 2016 was a year of a great many endings. Which, in retrospect, was fitting. For those of us who lived through it, it was the year where „everyone died.“ It seemed, at times, like every week a new icon- musicians, athletes, actors, artists, historical icons, old and ailing or young and victim of a freak accident, you name it- left us, in most cases quite suddenly. David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Gene Wilder, Genn Frey, Elie Wiesel, Kieth Emerson, and Carrie Fisher were the ones that hit me the most, but that doesn't even begin to scratch the top of the tip of the iceberg. It got so bad that for years afterwards, the sight of a new famous person trending on Twitter produced an instant, terrifying dread in the gut.

    It was the year I got fired for the first (and so far, only) time in my life. It was the year Jon Stewart, easily the most politically influential figure for many in my generation, handed off the reigns of The Daily Show. And- because we can't afford to forget it- yes, it was also the year of Brexit, the end of the Obama administration and the waking nightmare that was the Worst Presidential Election.

    But that last part was still in the future when we landed in the Atlanta airport late September. For myself, my Dad, and an accompanying friend, for the next few days there would just be baseball games, hopefully good ones. Lucky for us, they were, and the scorecards tell the stories.

    We had gone to at least several games a year when I was a kid. My parents had had the connections to be invited to sing the national anthem at both the previous stadium, Fulton County, as well as Turner Field itself the year it opened. The stadium had originally been built for the 1996 Summer Olympics and then converted for baseball purposes immediately afterward. Though there were exceptions, we usually had seats somewhere in the right field bleachers, with the lettering of the right fielder always very clear to me, especially after I started wearing glasses.

    That was in the midst of the glory days of Bobby Cox, where the Braves ruled the East exclusively. Sadly, by 2016, the Braves were in the midst of a pretty brutal down period; the years of 2014 to 2017 are, to date, the only consecutive years of my lifetime where the Braves suffered repeated losing seasons, though 2016 was the only one of those years where they ended up with the indignity of a last-place finish. Having been born literally months before Bobby Cox took the helm and the franchise began its record 14-year streak, I fully accept that I am quite spoiled as a fan. That never makes losing any easier, though, and the sad truth is that I had been too young to experience the lone World Series title from that run, all the way back in 1995. The first playoffs I remember following in real time were in 1997, which ended for the Braves in fairly humiliating fashion, and since then I had exclusively known playoff heartbreak. I still longed to experience that moment every fan waits for; when their team wins the absolute final game of the year and has unassailable bragging rights atop the pile for exactly 12 months.

    To get there, new management under John Coppolella had begun a significant teardown and rebuild of the entire team the year before. The crew that, starting in 2010, I had hoped would be The Ones to restore the team's luster- Freddie Freeman, Craig Kimbrel, Jason Heyward, the Upton Brothers, Mike Minor, Evan Gattis, Andrelton Simmons- had not proven up to the task, much to my disappointment. With the sole exception of Freddie Freeman, everyone else was slowly traded off for prospects and draft picks. This was something that a lot of teams were doing at the time, drastically cutting payroll while restocking the farm system, though its promises of success remain....well, let's say disputed.

    At any rate, by the end of 2016 only the first glimmers of fruit from the Atlanta rebuild were starting to show. Specifically, at this point, all eyes were on Dansby Swanson. The 1st-Round draft pick by the Diamondbacks a year earlier, he had been acquired the previous winter in a blockbuster trade where the Braves sent Shelby Miller (himself acquired the offseason prior for Jason Heyward) to Arizona in exchange for Swanson, Aaron Blair, and Ender Inciarte. Even at the time it was considered an absolute steal for the Braves, even more so once Swanson got his August call-up. He'd made an electric first impression by the time the Tigers were in town, ending up with a .302/.361/.442 slash line and over 1 bWAR in just over one month of baseball. He was, at this point, considered the face of Atlanta's future, alongside Freddie Freeman, and was being actively marketed as such.

    The coaching staff was in flux as well; Cox's successor, Fredi Gonzalez, had been let go after a dismal first month of the year, and Brian Snitker- lifelong Braves franchiser and at that point the AAA manager- was up in what was still officially only an interim capacity. None of us had much of an opinion on Snitker at that point. I certainly didn't. He wouldn't really endear himself fully to most Braves fans until the following summer, when he went absolutely nuts defending Ronald Acuna during The Urena Incident. But that's a story for another time.

    While the Braves were ultimately not playing for anything more than their own pride- there was no chance to rise out of 5th place- they would at least have the opportunity to play the spoiler, since the Tigers came to town still holding a mathematical shot at the Wild Card. A long shot, to be sure, but if they swept the Braves and either the Orioles or Blue Jays faceplanted, they would nab a Wild Card spot, so there were actual stakes in the air as we filed in for the first game. At my request, our seats for the first game were in my old stomping grounds in right field.

    A look at the scorecard for the game provides a picture of the main lineups for both teams, which only changed minimally over the coming days. Daniel Norris started for Detroit, while Matt Wisler took the mound for Atlanta. Like Swanson, Wisler was a product of the rebuild, gotten from the Padres for Craig Kimbrel and the Melvin „The Lesser“ Upton, though unlike Swanson he would prove to have no staying power.

    Miguel Cabrera was, as he had been for years prior, the beating heart of the Tigers lineup. Just a year removed from his 4th batting title, he was still one of the most dangerous and feared hitters in the game, though 2016 ended up being his last truly great year; he topped 30 HR, 100 RBI, a .300 AVG and .500 SLG for the last time, and would later receive his 7th and final Silver Slugger award. You'll also notice a few other names that are still kicking around the big leagues, like James McCann, JD Martinez, Nick „Long Line Drive To Left“ Castellanos, and Jose Iglesias, as well as a personal favorite of mine, Justin Upton. He, along with his brother, had been another of the core Braves traded away as part of the teardown, also heading to San Diego for the 2015 season, only to be shifted over to Detroit a year later. And so it was that he was also a part of the closure of Turner Field, albeit on the opposing team.

    The Braves countered with Freddie Freeman and Matt Kemp at the center of their batting order. Freddie was already the steady veteran for Atlanta and the clear, spiritual successor to Chipper Jones, though he was still yet to get more mainstream recognized for his greatness- his Gold Glove, MVP award, Silver Sluggers, and the majority of his All-Star selections were still in the future at this point- but we already knew what we had in him. Swanson was, of course, set to start all 3 games, as was his trade partner, Ender Inciarte.

    Ender has, unfortunately, not been remembered well by Braves fans, which I must admit I have a hard time understanding. He never hit for power, but he is the most recent Brave to have a 200-hit season, and 2016 marked the first of 3 straight Gold Gloves he won for his work in CF. He filled in a crucial position for these years and provided the coverage needed to get to the new outfield the team currently has, so he will always have positive marks in my book.

    Less forgotten, though for my money still underappreciated, was Nick Markakis, at this point in his 2nd year with the team. Brought over from Baltimore to replace Heyward in right field, Markakis would go on to be one of the most important clubhouse leaders alongside Freddie Freeman. He not only bridged the divide between the rebuild and success, he made it over to the other side, serving as a veteran presence for the first three Division Titles and playoff trips starting in 2018 and up through his retirement after the 2020 season. For me, he will remain as important a part of the team from these years as anyone.

    Unfortunately, there was not much positive to say after the conclusion of the first game; the Tigers jumped on Wisler early and the Braves never really put up a fight. The 6-1 romping was highlighted by a Cabrera power show, as he hit his final two homers of the season within the first 3 innings to more or less put the game on ice. It IS of interest to note the appearance of the name d'Arnaud for Atlanta as a pinch hitter late in the evening; this is NOT the Travis d'Arnaud who would end up catching every inning of the '21 World Series run, but rather his older brother, Chase. Travis, 3 years younger, was indeed in the bigs by this time, but was still suffering from that unfortunate medical condition known as PFTM (Playing For The Mets). His time would come.

    Something that I had apparently forgotten completely until I sat down and combed through these for the first time in years; I actually saw K-Rod himself close out this game. Like Cabrera, Francisco Rodriguez was in the last of his truly great years, though it had already been awhile since he had shattered the single-season saves record with 62 in his 2008 campaign with the Angels. He came in for the final inning and- what else- struck out the side. It wasn't a save, since the lead was too big for that, but it was the final inning he pitched that year, and he would retire shortly after the 2017 season began.

    There was, then, still playoff hopes in the air for Detroit when Game 2 began the following evening. It was Breast Cancer Awareness Day, so while the foam tomahawks handed out the night before had been the classic red, this time they were pink. This being noted; it would perhaps behoove me to now address the question of the Atlanta name and its still-ongoing tradition of The Chop. Yes, I grew up on it and very, VERY stubbornly clung to it as a young adult, convinced that stopping would guarantee even worse disaster than what I had already experienced as a fan. And I was still doing it in 2016, and chopped and chanted along with the crowd during the games. I clung to all the old excuses; it was just sports, it was something from my childhood, it's not that offensive, etc., etc.

    It would take another 3 years before I could finally find the mental strength to admit what, really, I always knew. The name „Braves“ itself might be a bit sketchy on its own, but there's no denying that The Chop is stereotypically racist, ESPECIALLY since multiple actual tribes living in Georgia have said so and asked for it to stop, up to and including Native American major league players. I still have those two foam relics from the games for memory's sake, but I have stopped using them and very vocally support the team stopping it as well.

    The name is, for me, a touch stickier. However, as hard as it is to detach myself from the Braves name, I think here, too, change would be for the better. And though the usual suspects would bitch and moan no matter what, in the end, the real fans would come around. I don't have any excuse or justification for why it took me so long, nor for the fact that I did it one final time in a large crowd, that holds water. It is what it is, and all I can do is try to be better now.

    This, too, was all in the future at that point. On that day, all that counted was the game. For this one, we were seated a few rows into the left field side of the outfield. This would usually be prime real estate for foul balls, but on this particular day we would end up having no luck. This second matchup featured Aaron Blair as the Braves' starter, the last of the Arizona trio that Atlanta had stolen the year before. The rest of the Atlanta lineup shook up similar to the night before, though Jace Peterson got the start here at second base, with Swanson moving from 7th to 8th in the batting order. Peterson is another player mostly forgotten as time has passed, but I always saw him as an absolute killer with the bases loaded and an effective and clutch utility guy. He didn't shine much in this series, but he is another one of those faces I will always remember fondly.

    The Tigers countered with Jordan Zimmerman, someone I knew well as a longtime member of the Nationals up through 2015. Otherwise the Tigers lineup also remained mostly the same, with one notable exception; Jarrod Saltalamacchia, at that time proud owner of Baseball's Longest Last Name, started as catcher. He, like Justin Upton, was another former Brave, though his path back to his starting point had been much longer and more winding; he had just a brief stint in the bigs with Atlanta back in 2007 before being flipped to Texas in the ill-fated Mark Teixiera trade. Since then he'd bounced from Texas, to Boston (and was part of the 2013 Dream Team), to Florida, to Arizona, before landing with Detroit that year.

    This game was a much closer and more exciting affair than that from the night before. The Braves had a strong all-around offensive showing; home runs by Freddie and Kakes were the primary blows, but five different players in total came around to score. This included Dansby, who had two hits and reached base three times, following him reaching base twice the night before. Aaron Blair proved more effective than Wisler the night before, limiting Detroit to just two runs in six innings plus. I should note, though, that that last one- a Justin Upton home run to start the 7th, which is what chased Blair- would end up being the final home run in Turner Field, since the ball would end up not leaving the park at all in the final game.

    The crucial moment for both sides came in the 8th inning; the Braves had a solid-but-not-invulnerable 5-2 lead heading into the top, when the Tigers managed to start things off with a double, followed by a pair of walks. Just like that, the bases were loaded, no outs, and gulp Cabrera himself coming up to bat. A utility reliever, Mauricio Cabrera, had gotten the Braves into this mess, so Snit pulled him for another utility player, Chaz Roe, to get them out.

    After what seemed like an eternity, Roe managed the impossible and got Cabrera to strike out swinging. We cheered like mad, but of course with the bases loaded the chance that the game could flip completely was still too high for comfort, especially since Martinez, the next man up, was not that much less dangerous a hitter.

    Roe did about as well as he could; he got the ball on the ground, a sharp grounder to the left side. Swanson took it from there. With a dive, he caught in on the dirt, got to his knees, and made the quick first throw to second to start the inning-ending- and game-saving- double play. The Tigers made some trouble the next inning against Jim Johnson, scoring one more run, but in the end he managed to close things down. The game was over, the Braves had won, and with that defeat, Detroit had been mathematically eliminated from contention for the Wild Card.

    Chaz Roe had been a late-season addition from Baltimore; that 8th inning was just the 20th he pitched for Atlanta all year. The very next year he appeared in only 3 games before being cut. He ended up being picked up by, and sticking with, Tampa Bay through 2021, but has not appeared in a major league game since. He currently has just an 11-8 record and 3.89 ERA in 217+ innings for his entire MLB career, for a grand total of 1.2 bWAR. Maybe not much to brag about, comparatively speaking. But for that one crucial inning, he was our Superman.

    The final game the following afternoon was bookended by festivities connected to the closing of the stadium. We had prime seats up behind home plate and slightly to the left, offering a near-perfect panorama of the entire complex. In a creative pre-game ceremony, an all-time roster of the best players at each position from the Turner Field years was called out to take up their positions one last time before the first pitch, and it was quite a trip down memory lane; Brian Jordan, Gary Sheffield, and Andruw Jones manned the outfield. Adam Laroche came in for first, Marcus Giles for second, Rafael Furcal at short, and, obviously, Chipper Jones at third, with Javy Lopez catching. And of course, John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, and Greg Maddux came out as a trio to throw out first pitches. Bobby Cox was there as well, and Hank Aaron, still with us then, was of course present throughout. It was the perfect start to the day.

    As far as the lineups were concerned, both teams ran out carbon copies of their rosters from the first game, except that Swanson was once again 8th and Peterson stayed at second. The primary difference, of course, was the pitching matchups. Justin Verlander, by then already a legend and surefire Hall of Famer, started for Detroit. And opposing him on the Atlanta side, my personal favorite Braves pitcher from the 2010's, Julio Teheran.

    I can't say what, exactly, drew me to Teheran back when he was still just a top prospect in the late 2000's. All I know is that at some point I landed a Bowman Chrome prospect card from him at a show and thought, „This guy looks cool. I'm rooting for him!“

    While his career never went as far as I'd hoped, he fulfilled the role of durable starter, year in and year out, better than I think anyone ever fully realized. Prior to 2016 he'd had back-to-back years of topping 200 innings pitched, something that has only gotten rarer ever since then. Seven straight seasons of 30+ starts, a pair of All Star selections, tied the record for Opening Day starts; his was honorable service.

    And today, on this most special of days, he stood toe-to-toe with one of the defining pitchers of his generation. This was a classic pitcher's duel; both went seven innings, with Teheran striking out 12 and Verlander 8, and only a single old-school run made the difference. The Braves struck right away in the 1st with a pair of singles, followed by a sac fly by Freddie. And that was it. Once Teheran was done, Ramirez and Johnson pitched a scoreless inning apiece to secure the victory. It stayed tense to the end; exactly like the night before, Detroit managed to get a runner to second with no one out in the 8th. And also exactly like before, following a strike out (this time of pinch-hitter Victor Martinez), the rally was killed by another Swanson-led double play; a sharp liner by Kinsler went straight into Swanson's glove, and with the runner having hesitated just a second too long, Dansby had just enough time to flip the ball back to double him up.

    The last out, ironically, was Justin Upton, who went down swinging to end the season. So it is that Upton, though no longer with the Braves, claimed the strange, dual legacy of having both the final home run AND final strikeout at Turner Field. Cue the music and everyone was jumping and chanting as the players came out to celebrate.

    The most meaningful was still to come; as a podium was set up for a row of speeches, which we would end up listening to on the radio on the way to dinner, Hank Aaron was once more brought out onto the field to help remove home plate, which was then transported over to still-unfinished SunTrust to be installed at home. A true passing of the torch from one stadium to another, guided by one of the greatest people to ever pick up a bat.

    And so the series, the season, and the 20-year-reign of Turner Field came to an end. We had some time left in the city before we flew back and returned to our daily lives. 2016 continued to be an otherwise awful year that portended still worse to come. I continued to adjust to my new line of work, which ended up being exactly the career change I had needed. In less positive news, my longstanding friendship with the person who joined my Dad and I fell apart a short while later for rather horrific reasons, which I will not put into print here. This was the last time I saw and spent any time with this person, but I have never seen any reason to let what came later color the memories. They are not worth that.

    As far as the players and teams were concerned, this was the last season that Detroit was relevant as a playoff team. Cabrera began a significant decline the very next year; though his incredible counting stats have continued to grow and he is now putting the final touches on his legacy, he has ultimately been only exactly average at best, and in some years worse than average, as a daily player. Verlander has so far managed to avoid such a fate. A year later he was no longer with Detroit, having been traded to Houston in time to contribute to their drought-breaking (and, we would learn later, ethically questionable) World Series title in 2017. He has since won two more Cy Youngs, passed the 3,000 K mark, and stands a chance to be the first pitcher since Randy Johnson to reach 300 wins (knock on wood). He will sail into Cooperstown when his time comes, as will Cabrera.

    Speaking of the Hall of Fame, actually, it was in this very offseason of my writing this that Francisco Rodriguez hit the writer's ballot. As one of the all-time saves leaders, he does have a not-insignificant argument for entry, but he only just barely stayed on the ballot with about 10% of the vote. It remains to be seen what sort of chance he has to build on that. Justin Upton moved on to the Angels, and was very up and down before finally being cut last year. As of now he has not retired, but neither has anyone been willing to take out a flyer on him. His playing days are quite likely over.

    For Atlanta, things would get worse before they would get better. Over the coming offseason, the franchise would get slammed by a massive scandal involving illegal signing practices in Latin America that would land Coppolella on the MLB banned list and leave the Braves severely restricted in the international draft for years to come.

    It was a nightmare for us fans, an absolute humilitation right when we were hoping the team was close to returning to more positive relevance. The direct result of all this- Coppolella banned and his cohort, John Hart, resigned in disgrace- was the hiring of Alex Anthropoulos (AA) to refill the General Manager role. Brain Snitker was retained for at least another year to ensure at least some continuity. In time, we would come to appreciate this as two of the best things to happen to the franchise in years. Snitker proved able to manage and encourage a positive clubhouse culture that would be crucial in the team not letting the draft scandal affect on-field play.

    Thankfully, the team moved things forward rapidly. Dansby was joined as a future face of the franchise the very next year by Ozzie Albies and Ronald Acuna Jr., and shortly thereafter Austin Riley, Max Fried, and others came up and shone too. AA runs one of the tightest ships in baseball and is able to operate with almost frightening secrecy, pulling off signings and trades that few, if anyone, saw coming. And, a few bad decisions aside (*cough* Ozuna cough), his moves have tended to work out incredibly well.

    There have been ups and downs. Acuna has had a rough time of it staying healthy and Dansby went through several years' worth of growing pains at least partially connected to the expectations we were heaping on him back in 2016. Despite that, the rebuild very quickly started to work better than we dared hope at the time. Just two years later, the Braves stormed out ahead of middling competition and reclaimed 1st place in the East. And they have held it since, with their current streak of titles at five and counting.

    Even better was to come. 2018 and 2019, partially thanks to terrible luck, continued the old trend of the Braves making the playoffs only to be immediately bounced by a lesser team. 2020, ironically the short and very strange „pandemic season,“ was when that uniquely Atlantean curse was broken, with the Braves advancing all the way to the NLCS and forcing the powerhouse Dodgers to go a full 7 games to beat them and win the pennant.

    It would not be for another year before the next step would finally come to fruition. Though many teams have jumped on the much-derided „tanking“ bandwagon- crashing the professional roster into the ground and cutting costs in favor of collecting draft picks- the Braves are thus far only the 3rd team to fully tank, following the 2016 Cubs and 2017 Astros, and end up with what, in theory, is the whole point of putting the fans through that sort of pain; a World Series title.

    Yes, 2021 was finally the year my 5-year-old inner child was sated, and the hopes that I still carried with me during that final series at Turner Field were made manifest. Despite an absolutely morbid first half of the season, and the loss of cornerstone players like Acuna to injury, the remaining core- plus a trio of midseason trade aquisitions (Joc Pederson, Eddie Rosario, and Jorge Soler) who turned into minor demigods once the playoffs started- came together like never before. First, they reclaimed the division from Mets and Phillies teams that had been floundering as much as the Braves had. They easily dispatched the Brewers despite not having a fully healthy pitching staff, and then got their revenge over the Dodgers for the year before to claim their first pennant since 1999.

    Facing them in the World Series was the Houston Astros, baseball's current Evil Empire. Technically, Justin Verlander was still on their roster, but he was out from Tommy John at the time, so there was no fateful rematch to be had there. Nonetheless, and despite it not exactly being a series for the history books, the Braves did what they had to, including overcoming even more freak injuries to key players, to capture their first World Series since 1995 and only the 4th in the team's 150+ year history. Soler, Freeman, and Swanson all hit titanic home runs that put the final game away early and quite decisively. Fittingly, it was those last two, the only two holdovers left from the 2016 roster, that sealed the deal; a groundball in the bottom of the 9th was hit out to short with a runner on. Swanson fielded it with ease, and after taking a moment to decide which base to target, fired a shot to Freeman at first. The ball hit Freddie's glove, his arms shot up into the air, and he burst out into a smile that could ignite a star. Dansby was so overcome that, for a moment, he could barely keep his hat in his hands. Despite all doubts, despite all comers, the Braves were top of the pile at last.

    As pure and as beautiful as the moment was, of course, nothing ever truly lasts. Freddie Freeman had been the one major player to remain as an achor for both the team and the fans throughout the entire rebuild. His first career home run, off future Hall of Famer Roy Halladay all the way back in 2010, had me immediately smitten. The years that followed had me hoping, praying, expecting, that he would follow in Chipper's footsteps and remain a Brave for life. But that contract was in its final year in 2021 and what little word that got out about extension talks hadn't been encouraging. It didn't overshadow the moment, but the worry did start to creep back once the dust had settled and the champagne spray dried.

    It took a bit for things to clear up, especially since that winter saw the first lockdown in the sport since 1994. But in the end, after the lockout ended, the worst did indeed come to pass; Freddie didn't just leave, he signed with the fucking Dodgers. There was some very muddy drama around this, around how close he actually may have been to staying with Atlanta and some questions over whether or not his agent fucked up big-time in his talks with AA. Honestly, at this point, I don't care about what the truth may be, since no explanation can change the hard fact that, immediately after reaching the heights he had stayed on to see, Freddie was gone.

    It didn't feel real. It still doesn't. But baseball, and life, and time itself stop for no one. And, incredibly, the Braves would not just recover, they would go on to win a whole 12 more games in 2022 than they did the year before. True, they were unable to repeat as WS champs, but they outlasted the Mets in a fantastic Division race to keep their new streak of dominance alive.

    Much of this resilience was thanks to the leadership of Dansby Swanson, who had overcome the pressures and struggles that followed 2016 to become the leader and perennial winner we always knew he could be. And yet...he, too, was only under contract for one more year. And once again, despite all the positive things going right for Atlanta, despite an incredible amount of talent locked down for literally a decade at exceedingly team-friendly cost, we were once again confronted with the specter of an otherwise good year ending with another pillar leaving.

    And once again....the worries were wholly founded. Before the New Year, and before I sat down to begin this winding exercise of my memories, Dansby Swanson departed as well, signing with the Chicago Cubs.

    And so it is, over 6 years after I attended that last series at Turned Field, when Swanson's star was just beginning to rise and Freeman's was on the cusp of being better appreciated by the sport, five years before those two would combine to make the final out of a long-awaited, triumphal championship run...both are gone. I will watch the clip of that final out for the rest of my life. There will always be a slight tinge of sadness in those moments, regrets that, though so many other players stuck around, it was precisely those two that ended up leaving in short order.

    But flags, as they say, fly forever. And some memories never fade.



Saturday, November 5, 2022

Adapting Tolkien: Reflections on The Rings of Power

 


**this post contains spoilers for pretty much all of TROP**

        A small group of travelers traverse a series of starkly beautiful landscapes, blissfully empty of other peoples. One of them sings a sweetly meditative plainsong tune that reflects on the demands of the road and the hope of what may come next. And in one of the final images, one of the persons is seen staring at a night sky full of stars, his eyes filled with questions, questions without answers, regarding who and what he is.

        This sequence, the opening of Episode 5 of The Rings of Power, is easily the most magical and memorable moment in the entire show to date. It was the one part (other than perhaps the opening prologue) that convinced me I was seeing people lose themselves in the majesty and granduer of Middle Earth. If only we'd gotten more.

        Let's maybe get one thing straight at the beginning; this post is not be a beat-down of TROP. At the end of the day, Season 1 of Rings is...fine! It's fine, and in many spots, genuinely excellent. Much of the cast brings their A game (though not all....we'll get there), and the decision to play up Sauron's role in the fall of Numenor as a reactionary demagogue is very much A Choice. The production design, music, and attention to detail is far too good for the show to not be at least moderately entertaining. And by the end, we did get a first round of Rings, though they were inexplicably shot in such a way that made them look like an ad on daytime TV. It's just.....so very weighed down by its own ambitions, and while it's a perfectly serviceable fanfic for Tolkein die-hards, I can't see too many not already well within the fold buying in.

        This is due to a lot of factors, but I think the biggest bigbear is how the story is split up. Specifically, that it's split up into way too many pieces. We have one storyline with Galadriel and her obvious PTSD issues, Elrond seeking out Durin and the dwarves, a Woodland elf on human-guard-duty (which involves his lady love interest and her son), plus another with the Harfoots, who are obviously proto-hobbits, because of course. There is some meshing of the characters and storylines by the end, but not completely, and with only a few exceptions there are really no significant character moments that cross the narrative streams, so to speak.

        And really, it's all a touch too much. Especially since these are nearly all characters either from the more obscure lore (Gil-galad, Celebrimbor, Durin IV) or wholly original inventions, meaning not even diehard Tolkienites have any prior knowledge of or attachment to them. These broad narrative decisions- which feels like putting four seperate carts in front of a single horse, then asking the horse to move all four at once- is especially frustrating because of just how blank the canvas is they had to paint on. While LOTR and The Hobbit tell the stories that matter most to the Third Age, and The Silmarillion and its adjacent stories cover the First Age very, very thoroughly, the Second Age is left almost entirely open. It has the most room to play around in while still being true enough to canon to satisfy purists, so there was no reason to bite off so much right from the start.

        Really, its the exact inverse of how LOTR is structured. There, we first meet the hobbits plus Gandalf, then expand to the whole fellowship, and then have an entire movie/book just devoted to them as a group and their dynamics. That, in turn, creates the interest and investment in each one that carries the story onwards after the fellowship is broken and we have two books/movies covering multiple, separated narratives. This is, for my money, the master key that makes LOTR such an enduring and compelling story, even for those who aren't otherwise fantasy fans; the emotional core between the central characters is masterfully established and explored before they split up and things get more complicated, making the ultimate return and resolution of it all even more worth the experience.

        Here, we have a whole lot of stuff going on in different parts of Middle Earth right from the start and only hints as to how it may tie together in the end. Being the nerd I am who has read everything published under the Tolkien name, I had enough in my memory to fill in certain gaps, catch and appreciate some references, and make some educated guesses as to where things were going. And yet even I found myself struggling at times to....well, to care. Which is kind of fatal for a show like this!

        I think the solution here would have been pretty simple, really- instead of 4+ narratives, just focus in on two- Galadriel and Elrond. They are the only two major figures in the show who are a) canon and b) are already in popular consciousness thanks to LOTR, so having them as the focus, at least at first, allows casual viewers to get accustomed to the different actors, different settings, different place names, etc. And then, once a few new characters are better established, you have more leeway to expand the story's focus going forward. Though I must admit, if there is a serious weakness in the Elvish part of the story....I'm sorry, but whether its him or the direction he got, Benjamin Walker ain't it for Gil-galad. I mean, this is GIL-FUCKITY-GALAD. The legendary last King of the Elves who personally led the final assasult on Mount Doom, who could only be killed by Sauron himself. And for the entire season his, tone, look, mannerisms, everything, suggest less „Immortal Lord of Light who will Fuck You Up“ and more „Moderately Bored Middle Manager at Wal-Mart.“

        But let's be merciful and leave that be. Returning to Elrond and Galadriel, I actually think that, given the legacy of Cate Blanchett and Hugo Weaving, Morfydd Clark and Robert Aramayo really do hold their own, managing to find younger, less hardened and more adventurous sides of the characters that I think we absolutely needed. Clark has one of the best moments in the entire show when, confronted by Halbrand, she admits how scarred and traumatized she is by saying that she „literally cannot stop“ hunting orcs, seeking prey, looking for war and battle. It allows a more nuanced take on a person who otherwise is just sort of background decoration in the Middle Eart universe. It also lends tremendous thematic weight to her decided to finally forego her blade- in a way, giving up fighting itself- to aid in the created of the Three. I hope this signals a turn from Galadriel, Warrier-Queen to a Galadriel who will now seek to become the Lady of the Wood who fights by protecting life, helping things grow, and providing shelter from the world rather than rushing off to spend more blood.

        Plus, and this is a big personal argument for me, Elrond's storyline (so far) is very dwarf-centered and is the best chance we've yet had to really have more dwarf cultures, nations, and peoples front and center in a Middle Earth story. The dwarves are easily still the most underseen and underserved of all Middle Earth races. This is a long-running, structural problem with Middle Earth storytelling that goes all the way back to the source. Even The Silmarillion, as exhaustive as it is, has long stretches where the children of Durin are not mentioned beyond „Something something Daaark Looord, something something Elves! Oh and the dwarves are kicking around doing.....things....now back to the Elves!“ The first chance to break this mold was obviously with the Hobbit trilogy (since even in the original book, the dwarves are basically just rope-a-dozen stock characters), and that....didn't end well. So we still have lots of ground to make up here.

        What makes this an especially easy call for me is that the show has already offered us a GREAT foundation for more fantasy drama in the vaults of Khazad-dum. The personality strife between Durin and his father is some great, family-politics stuff. Plus, Owain Arthur and Sophia Nomvete have INSANE chemistry together and I would sit down to watch an 80's style sitcom of their home life right now please and thank you. I mean, okay, I don't know if we needed a detailed, pseudo-scientific explanation for how mithril was created. And the effect of the dwarf scenes was marred somewhat by its concluding reveal that a...falling leaf? Was what awakened the Balrog that Gandalf fights?

        Actually, that bit dovetails nicely into my biggest gripe with the show; its insistence on stuffing easter eggs and trapdoor origin stories for the people, places, and things from LOTR into every nook and cranny. This is the same trap the Hobbit fell into, and we complained then, but here we are; Tolkein adaptations are still unable to fully free themselves from the shadow that Jackson still casts over the entire franchise. From the leaf, to that fucking surprise origin story for Mount Doom (because The People demanded it, I guess), to the Harfoot storyline being way too cute by half in really making sure we know it's Gandalf that fell into their midst, every one of those they shoved in just kept reminding me that, oh yeah, the LOTR movies still exist, I should go rewatch them!

        Additionally, speaking of the Harfoots- and this is a purely personal gripe on my part- we've had enough hobbits/hobbit-adjacents. I know, I know, the Harfoot cast is all great, Markella Kavanagh is an absolute treasure and I love her, so believe me, it hurts me more to write this than it hurts you to read it. But we're good for hobbits. Really. They've had SIX movies to shine, we've done right by them. So maybe let's do something else? Like...more dwarves?

        This has gone off quite a bit in so many directions....really, very much like the show. I am not sorry I took the time to watch it and I will most definitely give a second season a shot. But I think we may have already missed a chance to really bring something genuinely new to Tolkein adaptations. Which I think is a bit of a shame, really.

-Noah

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

The Top Five Sweetest and/or Funniest Moments in Street Dance of China, Season 4

        With the more serious business out of the way, I wanted to return to the SDC well one more time, this time to immortalize the funniest and most heartwarming parts of Season 4. The entire vibe of the show makes for a lot of laughter and a lot of genuinely sweet emotion; the competitive-yet-friendly dynamics between nearly all the contestants is nothing short of inspiring, which is why the eliminations in the show are uniquely painful, for both the captains and the viewers. For this last look-back, I wanted to highlight five moments from Season 4 that stood out above all the rest in representing what is so amazing and good about the show.


Honorable Mention: Pretty much every interaction between Henry and Hang Geng. There are far too many to rank.

  1. Xiao Ji forgets the challenge music

        As I said last time, pretty much everyone expected Xiao Ji to do something hilarious during the qualification challenges. And, while Jr. Taco might have taken the prize for pulling out the season's biggest comedic highlight, Xiao Ji- who for most of the episode sat rather quietly on the side- was also worth the wait. First he stood up to challenge. Then insisted he actually didn't intend to challenge, he just desperately needed to pee. Then he said maybe he would, but he had kind of already forgotten the music. Then, no, could he just leave, because he really, reeeeaaaaally needed to pee. Then....ok, fine, he'll do the challenge, but he DEFINITELY already forgot the music and has to just wing it.

        Wing it he did....but hit it so hard that everyone ended up on the floor and the judges had no choice but to advance him. And for the rest of the season, no one (not even Xiao Ji!), was entirely convinced that he actually did forget the music, or if he ever really had to pee.

(skip to 55:05 in the video)


  1. Disco Dance „Youth“ Announcement

        Han Geng, the „old man“ of the captain team (I term I use very, very lightly) is a class act, a chipper, supportive dude who never fails to look like he's having, just, the best time. His best moment was definitely when he pulled Ma Xiaoling aside to do a deliberately terrible English translation of his overly sappy, poetic tribute to disco as an introduction to his team's dance. Burn the young, indeed.

(Skip to 57:45 in the video)



  1. Yibo's gift to Yang Kai

        In one of the more outlandish parts of the season, the captains tried to „attract“ the top dancers to their team by offering them gifts, leaving it up to the dancers to decide which to accept. This was often cute, but also raised a host of confounding questions (HOW did they know which gifts to get for whom and when to have them prepared, was there an army of assistants racing around China to get these things, how much social media stalking went into finding out personal interests, just how much MONEY did these cost, et cetera, et cetera). There was one gift, though, that was simple, straightforward, and beautiful; Wang Yibo, who one season before had led Yang Kai to ultimate victory, gifted Yang Kai a beautiful, framed picture of them hugging after the finale, with golden confetti raining down on them. Yang Kai's reaction says all there is to say.

(skip to 45:13 in the video)



  1. Jr. Taco's Qualification Challenge

        Ok, I've talked about the dance itself before- and the dance itself isn't exactly funny, per say, except maybe for how Jr. Taco tries and fails to figure out the wheelchair at the start- but what makes this whole scene so unbelievably side-splitting is the editing and added-in sound effects. While everyone is trying to process what they just saw, Jr. Taco reveals that he'd tried to hint to the DJ to give him a cue....but instead the guy just laughed at him the entire time along with everyone else. I can't begin to imagine how much fun the editors had putting this part together, nor how they manage to stay conscious the entire time.

(skip to 1:21:45 in the video)



  1. Acky-San starts a spontaneous on-stage dance party with everyone (EVERYONE!)

        The 7-To-Smoke had just ended and the final selections had been made, with all the guest dancers from the fusion rounds milling about and those who failed to make the cut saying their final goodbyes. Then, suddenly, Acky-San- who had spent the entire season proving himself the OG to end all OG's- yelled out for the DJ to start playing and announced a spontaneous, final battle for all the poppers.

        And I mean....that was a) so cool, b) so sweet, c) incredibly inspiring, d) loads of fun, and e) did I mention how GODDAMN ADORABLY SWEET THAT WAS???? That would have been enough to be the highlight of the entire season. And the moment seemed to reach its natural conclusion with MT Pop, dissolving in tears of pure joy, and all the poppers coming together for a big group hug....

        …...and then the captains got up, said, „DJ....play the song again!“ And then hopped up on stage for their own round of thank-you dances to Acky-San. Then everyone jumped forward, starting doing the Fresno, and we get a perfect overhead look at the stage, a shot of pure adrenaline seeing dozens and dozens of dancers moving as one to celebrate the art they devote their lives to. For the moment, there are no eliminations. No competing. Nothing to win or lose. Just the sheer joy of dance, all together, for just a moment.

        It's for these moments that we create art. It's for moments like these that we are alive. There's nothing else to say.

(skip to 1:18:45 in the video)





Thursday, August 25, 2022

The Top Ten Dances of Street Dance of China, Season 4

        It's been a long wait, but finally, FINALLY, Street Dance of China (SDC)- the best and most incessantly watchable competition show ever made- is back for a fifth season. For technical and logistical reasons, my wife and I will not be able to immediately jump into experiencing what is sure to be another wonderful 5 million hours of popping, locking, and freestyling content. So to bide the time, let's take this chance to glance back at last year's season and celebrate its best moments.

        Granted, Season 4 was not at quite the same level of wall-to-wall perfection as Season 3, which I will probably revisit over and over again until I die. There was definitely a different feel and a few growing pains as the show started to go bigger and more international, though I think the effort was absolutely for the best. And the dancing, of course, remained absolutely spot-on. Though I can't highlight EVERY dance I liked- because dear Lord, would that take time I do not have- I figure I'd start with a countdown of my Top Ten Dances from the season.

        If you don't see dances you especially liked here, bear in mind that I had to kill many a darling and leave a LOT on the cutting-room floor. So just add your favorites in the comments below!

        For the links, where possible and/or necessary I will timestamp the episode itself, since only those have the subtitles available to get the full experience.


Honorable Mentions:

Team Henry vs. Team Yibo Challenge (Episode 5)


Ye Ying's Qualification Dance (Episode 3)


Poppin' C's Qualification Dance (Episode 3)


The Toy Story Dance (Episode 9)


The Disco Dance (Episode 9)


Ye Ying + Hilty & Bosch: The Lupin/Conan Dance (Episode 9)


Boris vs. Zyko (Episode 1 )


And now, THE BIG TEN!

  1. Xiao Ji + Xiao Jie vs. Tao Tao + Cici (Episode 10)

        Okay, this needs a bit of background; Tao Tao and Cici are possible the handsomest, most saccharinly adorable couple in the world, and their „Wedding Dance“ in Season 3 was a storm of brilliant, creative pathos that became a viral hit and is still probably what they are most known for. Tao Tao is a masterful choreographer, so anytime the two of them are doing something you know every movement will be fine-tuned to perfection, and their opening to this 2-on-2 challenge in Episode 10 was no exception.

        Except, as far as winning the round was concerned, they stood no chance, as they were up against the combined might of the Xiaos, SDC's two reigning goofball kings. I don't know whose idea it was, but they decided to splice in the Wedding music and do a spectacular parody of Tao Tao's dancing style. Easily one of the season's best combinations of great dancing with great comendy (though not THE best- we'll get there).


  1. Ye Ying + Yang Kai Fusion Dance (Episode 11)

        My wife and I were actually wondering for awhile if anyone in SDC would ever pick a German song to dance to. No matter who and when, the one thing we were sure of was that it would be Rammstein, because that's just one of those things non-Germans automatically go to when asked „Pick some German music, NOT BEETHOVEN.“ Lo and behold...

        In all seriousness though, the fusion dance parts of each SDC season are always especially fascinating, allowing the contestant to really flex their abilities by breaking out of the specific styles they are usually known for. This one, featuring two of the three past winners, easily took the cake, telling a compact and gripping story about crooks trying to one-up each other. The Rammstein-crossed-with-Alien bit was just the icing on top.


  1. Mr. Three + Rochka: Rush Hour (Episode 10)

        The forever friendship that defined the season (Sorry, Henry/Han Geng). Rochka and Mr. Three instantly solidified themselves as a) two of the best new dancers to join the show and b) just the most adorable human beings to grace God's good Earth. And then they had to go and become soulmates to boot. Honestly, I could fill this with just spots of the two of them and would feel entirely at peace (don't worry, I won't....but I could if I wanted to).

        They will appear here again, but as a first pick I went with this fantastic Rush-Hour-esque parody, set to a remix of Old Town Road and will an absolute chef's kiss of a final punchline.


  1. AC vs. Ibuki (Episode 1)

        It was only part of the preliminary rounds, and thus technically „didn't matter,“ but given the deep friendship/feaux-rivalry between these two, anytime Ibuki and AC face off is going to be packed with emotion and power. Everyone watching gets so into this one (even Yibo!), which makes it all the more fun to watch.


  1. Jr. Taco's Qualification Challenge (Episode 3)

        With Xiao Ji and his magical feet back in the game, I think everyone expected him to be the first to pull something so mind-boggling out of thin air that it would make the whole season just stop for a moment. And he certainly gave it his best shot (see my next listicle). Alas, Jr. Taco beat him to the punch; this was instantly both one of the best dances of the season, and also one of the funniest things to ever almost kill me. My wife and I have now rewatched this clip so many times with so many people we don't even need the subtitles anymore.

        Having not yet seen either of the first two seasons of SDC, Jr. Taco was a wholly new face to me (though I later realized he did cameo in Season 3). And given the sort of phenomenal physicality required for street dancing (hell, ANY dancing), I admit I couldn't help but look at the guy and be curious as to what kind of style he would bring. Well, with this challenge upset, which instantly catapulted him into the next round, he showed both me and the world that you do. Not. Ever. Fuck. With Jr. Taco.

        Just a note- I tried to place starting the clip for this one with the original dance that Jr. Taco was challenging, since the buildup allows the impact to make more sense.  


  1. Yang Kai vs. Bouboo Elimination Dance-Off (Episode 12)

        There's really not much I can say about this one. Last year's winner facing off against one of the top dancers in the world, two absolute masters of their craft going all-in for the elimination round, and even as you can tell their bodies are breaking they just keep at it. Also, the ending is SO adorable and remains the one and only excusable use of Justin Bieber. These two made Bieber relevant- THAT's how powerful they are.


  1. Ma Xiaolong + Zyko, „Teacher and Student“ (Episode 6)

        Full disclosure; my wife and I are kinda Xiaolong-sceptic. Not that he isn't a great dancer or master choreographer; literally everyone on this show can do things with the human form I can't even dream of. Just...his various „Sinoseries“ works, each one centering a different aspect of Chinese culture, were, while fascinating, never as interesting or awe-inspiring to us as they seemed to be to the judges. This could be the cultural distance having an effect, but there tended to be an ebulience of praise for most of his pieces even in cases where, in my eyes, the competing performances were even better.

        There was one, however, that was so good that even I can't deny it's power, and that was this collaboration with Zyko that tells the story of a music teacher and his student, with their back-and-forths symbolizing the instruction of the teacher, the holding back of the student when they aren't ready, then finally the letting go when the pupil is set to replace the master. It's a note-perfect (literally!) fusion of sound and movement about one of the most eternal and universal stories there is.

        Sadly, both Zyko and Ma were forced to bow out of the competition early, each due to extentuating circumstances, but this dance alone anchored itself as one of the defining works of the season.


  1. Rochka + Mr. Three vs. Nelson + Bouboo (Episode 6)

        This two-v-two faceoff after the initial team formation perfectly encapsulates just how fantastically Rochka and Mr. Three are able to fuse their styles and personalities together. It is easily my single favorite bit of dancing of the two of them together, and is my favorite pre-choreographed set in the entire season (the top two spots, as you shall see, went to battles). Nelson is a world-class dancer and Bouboo is, well, Bouboo, but against the Perfect Couple, they had absolutely no chance. Even the judges realized this right away (Yibo's face during the battle is simultaneously hilarious and heart-breaking), once the openings moves made clear what the score was. I'll be watching and rewatching this til I die.


  1. Acky-San vs. Mr. Three Elimination Dance-Off (Episode 12)

        Seeing Mr. Three, who (sorry, but I'm going to repeat this again), is one of the sweetest dudes in the world, facing off against one of popping's Grand Masters, Acky-San, in the season finale was the sort of treat one doesn't get too often in this life. Popping is definitely my kind of street dance, so each round of this is just pure awesome, even if my dear Three didn't make it further.



  1. Semi-Final Elimination, 7-to-Smoke (Episode 11)

        No competition for the #1 spot; the 7-to-Smoke that concluded the Semi-Finals, the final chance for the remaining contestants to gain a chance at finale glory, was the longest and had the most gripping, intense, and varied sequences of dancing in the entire season. Each of the nine remaining contestants laid everything out, every bit of their power and talent and creativity, and the results are simply spectacular.

        What made it all the more compelling was that no one dancer dominated; unlike the Semi-Final 7-to-Smoke in the previous season- which basically consisted of Bouboo seizing the room by the throat and refusing to let go- the defender was constantly changing hands. After the first go-around, it was pretty clear no one dancer would qualify outright, so it became a gritty endurance test to scratch out one point at a time; no one was ever more than 2 points above anyone else and the fluctation made just watching it incredibly tense.

        And yet, despite the intensity, everyone was still having so much damn fun. And that, for me, encapsulates what makes SDC so special and rewatchable. These are ambitious and intense people, but at all times the most important thing for everyone is to just be happy and have fun, content that they get to literally spend their lives dancing. It's so different from the (at times artificially-induced) petty drama stoked up in just about every other reality competition show I've ever seen, or at least within Western ones. Even when someone suffers a heartbreaking seatback, within minutes everyone is back to „It's okay everyone, let's just daaaaance...“

        It's that mindset that, I think, the whole world needs more of in these dark times.


        Rock on, SDC. Rock on.