Swiss
Army Man (2016): Written and directed by Daniel
Scheinert and Daniel Kwan. Starring: Paul Dano, Daniel Radcliffe,
and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Running Time: 97 minutes.
Rating:
4/4
This
movie begins with Paul Dano riding Daniel Radcliffe across the ocean like a
literal human motorboat, propelled across the breaking waves by Radcliffe’s
seemingly endless supply of explosive flatulence.
If
that sentence was enough to convince you that you can never meet this film on
its own terms, turn back now, for you shall not be warned again. Yep, it’s one of those.
Alright,
I should probably back up a bit first. Hank
(Paul Dano) has apparently been stranded on a deserted island for some time,
and is at the point of preparing to hang himself from a branch, when the waves
suddenly toss a human corpse (Daniel Radcliffe) onto the beach in front of
him. Despite his disappointment that it
is, indeed, a corpse, and not a fellow survivor (for so it seems, at first), he
recognizes an opportunity for escape when the body begins to fart incessantly,
pushing itself back out to sea. This is
the lead-in to the motorboat scene, which doubles as the opening credits. They do reach land, but are clearly still
very far from civilization.
Unsure
of what to do next, Hank decides to keep dragging the corpse along with him,
and gets the shock of his life later on when it actually does start moving and
speaking. He affectionately dubs his new
friend “Manny,” and soon realizes that this strange body has a variety of
powers perfectly suited to his efforts to survive. In addition to the aforementioned flatulence,
Manny can spew fresh water out of his mouth like a geyser at will, is super
flexible and has the strength to chop wood, stones, and other materials, can
have anything shoved into his mouth and shot out of him like a cannonball, can create
sparks to start fires with his hands, and also periodically gets massive
erections capable of sensing the way through the woods back home, like some
sort of erotic compass (I did warn you).
This
is that rare film so wholly unique as to be truly beyond classification. Many of the adventures Hank and Manny have
together could be broadly described as survival tales (they are, after all, lost
in the woods for most of the film’s running time), but it’s also a love story,
an exploration of friendship and dealing with questions of self-worth, and a
musing on the general weirdness of life itself.
It’s also a rip-roaringly good comedy, so committed to its own zaniness
that laughter is pretty much the only appropriate response. I haven’t seen a movie so unapologetically
committed to its disregard for the laws of natural science since Mood Indigo.
This
really only works because the movie absolutely refuses to explain the rules of
its world. What is Manny? A human?
An angel? Something else? Is he actually a corpse, or is he
biologically alive? Where do his powers
come from and how do they work? We never
know, and we’re so much better off for that, because getting bogged down in
those sorts of details would ruin the fun.
Whoever (or whatever) he is, he seems to have no memories regarding
where he came from, so once he wakes up and starts talking, Hank quickly
realizes he has to basically teach Manny about life, the world, and people from
scratch, as if he were a newborn infant with the body and language ability of
an adult.
The
montages where this is addressed are what may make or break the film for many
viewers- some will find it unbearably cheesy, perhaps too earnest or naïve for
its own good, others will find it tearfully heartwarming, and many will likely
just find them weird and without purpose.
It’s also a ready excuse for the film to go off on tangents about
farting, pooping, and masturbating without feeling like a pandering reach for
the 12-year-old-boy demographic. That being
said, it might be sound for me to make a general proclamation here that anyone
seriously put off by any sort of discussion about genitals and their various
functions would do well to avoid this movie, because truly, there will be no
mercy.
For
all the clear passion that goes into the film’s ecstatic editing and the
fascination of seeing how weirdly they use CGI to bring the film’s most bizarre
moments to life, what anchors this movie and makes it rise above its inherently
pulpy nature are its two leads. Paul
Dano and Daniel Radcliffe achieve a perfect symbiosis between their performances,
a balance that allows the strange, STRANGE things they talk about to be both
funny and serious without ever veering into being too ridiculous. A single misstep by either of them would
probably have brought the whole affair crashing down around their feet, but by
God, like a nude high-wire act over Niagara Falls, somehow they pulled this
crazy stunt off. Radcliffe in particular
has made odd, offbeat projects like this his calling card since Harry Potter ended, and this just might
be his best performance in his best film yet.
Swiss Army Man is fun, intelligent,
daring, bizarre, challenging, and unrelentingly in-your-face, and I love it for
that. There are a great many people who
will see this movie, hate it, read this review praising it, and then stand
ready to proclaim me a lunatic. But as
the great and wise Horton the Elephant once sang;
They all call me a lunatic/
Okay, call me a lunatic/
But I have wings, and I can fly/
Around the moon and far beyond the sky.
And
after seeing this movie, I certainly intend to fly, my friends. Possibly with the aid of Eternal Magic Farts,
but I’ll never tell.
-Noah Franc
megashare9 - I can't even begin to describe how ridiculous and stupid this movie was. I am utterly amazed how this can have a user rating of 7.9 on IMDb. This writer has some serious internal issues to be able to come up with this script. I never write reviews but for this movie I am compelled as a citizen of the United States to do so. My girl and I were just looking at each shaking our heads. This is not a comedy, nor an adventure and definitely not a drama. I can't believe how this got green lit to be made. FYI, if you have a fetish for farting, erections and complete nonsense, then this movie by all means is absolutely for you. The ONLY highlight of this film was the Popcorn and Coke we had.
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